Health | Mesothelioma | Cancer

i do run on

admin — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 23:42:56 +0000

The echocardiogram was fine, the doctor found nothing unusual when she examined me, my butt is sore today from all the biking, the technician got the vein on the first try before the ct scan, I will have results in about a week, I got to go on a great walk with my sister today, my kids and spouse have just left on a two night canoe trip and this evening, I am going out for a grown-up dinner.

Life. Is. Good.

viagra

buzzing brain

admin — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 22:28:20 +0000

I had a brain MRI today. I’d never had one before and it’s a pretty weird experience.

I’m not worried about anything in particular. I just thought it would be a good idea, after hearing an oncologist speak at the Conference For Young Women Affected By Breast Cancer that I attended last February.

It wasn’t nearly as bad as I’d feared. It turns out that I am not at all claustrophobic (and I was so relieved that the technician managed to access a vein for the contrast injection on the first try that nothing after that fazed me at all).

But boy, was it loud. And my neck is still stiff from the brace they used to hold my head steady. It’s been hours since I left the hospital and I feel like I am still vibrating. It felt like a jackhammer being used right beside my head. My teeth were chattering from the vibration.

And I am exhausted (although that my be from waking up every forty-five minutes again to make sure that I didn’t oversleep).

I’m not going to worry too much about the results (although I may change my mind about that in the next few days).

My CT results from last week were good (still no tumours in sight).

And besides, there were several women at the young women’s conference who had recently had surgery for brain metastasis. Every month seems to bring more options for the treatment of cancer.

And it’s nice outside.

I am either going to take a nap now or go pick up dog poo in the back yard.

And then I’ll go for a walk.

10 to do in May

admin — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 20:11:48 +0000

For the last few months, I’ve been playing along with a group of folks over at BlogHer who’ve formed a group called “List Lovers Unite.” I’m a sucker for “to do” lists and I’ve found the practice of making monthly to do lists to be rather compelling.

Sticking to the list, however, has yielded mixed results. Here’s how I did with April’s list (as with previous months, completed tasks are in blue, partially done tasks are in green and the tasks I didn’t even started in purple):

1. Write a first draft of the short story I’ve been kicking around. (I wrote an outline)

2. Spend an average of eight hours writing per week. (Not even close)

3. Do strength training at least once a week and continue with the five hours of cardio per week. (I’m very pleased to have started the strength training, which I did, for at least a few minutes, five times in four weeks. I fell a couple of hours short with the cardio, though. I need to remind myself on rainy days that I’m not made of sugar).

4. Sort through my clothes (carried over from February and March). (I bought some clothes but my closet is still overflowing with stuff I can’t or don’t wear).

5.Make summer plans for my family. (we are going to Blue SkiesMusic Festival this year and have tentatively planned another couple of trips but I have yet to sit down with a calendar and nail it all down)

6. Brush my big (shedding) dog once a week and my smaller (non-shedding, tangling) dog every other day. (I brushed the big dog once and the little one twice. I did take Lucy to the groomer on Tuesday, though. She’s been shorn now, so now I really only have ears and tail to brush for a while)

7. Update my Ravelry project page.

8. Finish another scarf.

9. Make soup twice. (the jambalaya in the slow cooker when I wrote last month’s post was the only soup I made. It was a good one, though)

10. Get a hair cut. (Done. And I feel much better with shorter hair)

I did get something done that had been on my previous month’s to do list. I bought a bathing suit. And then I wrote about it for BlogHer and even posted a photo of myself.

I’m still reeling from that one.

Around the middle of the month, I realized was feeling very grumpy. I figured out that I was unhappy because, while I wasn’t necessarily getting anything done, I also wasn’t having any fun. I had to remind myself that, as I’m the one attempting to give my life more structure, I’m also the one who needs to give myself permission to be flexible.

When I drew up my goals for this month, I decided to incorporate time to read, relax and be creative (a bit ironic, I know) and to set aside time to specifically attack this list.

Things to do in May:

1. Spend an average of eight hours writing a week (I’m already behind. Sigh. I have started to edit the first draft of my novel, though, so that’s something).

2. Do strength training at least twice every week (Did it once last week, so I’m behind there too).

3. Do an average of five hours of cardio every week (On track. Yay!)

4. Make soup twice (I’ve already made and eaten a big batch of sweet potato, red lentil and spinach soup).

5. Sort through my clothes (carried over from February, March and April – but I really do want to get this done).

6. Finish making summer plans for my family.

7. Go to at least one bike store and do some test rides (That should be fun. Also, my bike has started to make some pretty scary noises when I pedal or change gears).

8. Spend one afternoon every week doing something fun or relaxing (Last week, I spent part of Mothers’ Day finishing Water for Elephants, which I loved reading. This week, I’ll spend Thursday afternoon either reading or knitting. I need to make the space in my life to do the things that restore my energy and my creativity).

9. Finish one knitting project (I made a bunch of dish clothes and a dish towel for a friend and gave them to her, so this one’s done already).

10. Spend one afternoon per week just dealing with this to-do list (last week it was Wednesday and this week it will be Wednesday, too).

Anyone else out there still working on the monthly list? How’s it working for you?

All or nothing?

admin — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 18:48:55 +0000

It’s interesting. Since my own diagnosis, my view of cancer and cancer treatment has changed. I think many of us have thought of cancer as an “all or nothing” disease for a long time. We are either cured or we aren’t. We survive or we don’t survive. Our cancer is either gone or it’s there. The only good outcome is that our cancer is gone and we move on with our lives intact cancer-free.

We feel having cancer means we are on a path to death, and having no detectable cancer means we might have a chance of staying alive. All or nothing.

But I met a woman when I was in chemo who had been receiving chemo weekly for 4 years. She was not cured and she was not dying. She had a tumor that could not be removed surgically, but the tumor had not grown or spread or threatened her life in 4 years. She tolerated chemo well, and aside from living 4 hours of her life weekly in the oncology chemo room, her life was pretty much normal.

I’ve since been in contact with 2 long term appendiceal cancer patients who have never really been cancer free. They have been eight years and twenty years with appendix cancer recurrences. And in the meantime, between treatment, they have valiantly lived their lives. Productive lives. Meaningful lives. Lives that aren’t just about cancer. They have survived in spite of cancer. Raised kids, pursued careers, lived lives…with appendix cancer.

I got to thinking about that. I was in chemo for about 4 hours once a week for many months after I was diagnosed. Not bad, but not how I would have chosen to use my time under other circumstances. But I’m a nurse. For years I’ve seen dialysis patients. Patients who live their lives hooked up to dialysis IV pumps for as long as we are hooked up to chemo pumps….but three days a week…for years. And they live long and productive lives in spite of that. Their lives are altered, but they still live. They still contemplate a future; they tolerate dialysis as they await a possible transplant and a new normal life.

I have now been exposed to many scientists involved in cancer research. They are so close to so many breakthroughs. There may come a day in our lifetime when there is a cancer cure…if we just wait and stay in treatment. Just like dialysis patients remain in treatment while they await a kidney transplant. The day when they can live without being in treatment.

That day that may come for us. The day cancer is defeated.

I want to be here to celebrate that day.

What Are The Risk Factors for Breast Cancer?

admin — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 16:51:49 +0000

Breast cancer is a largely unknown disease until today, despite the fact that it affects almost ten percent of the women above the age of forty years all over the world. The causes of this killer cancer are not known even after decades of research into it. Similarly it is unknown why some women have higher chances of getting breast cancers than others.

Though the causative factors are not known, some risk factors have been identified. There is no medical proof why these factors make the disease more probable, but this is a study of observation. In a vast cross-section of women with the observed risk factors, it has been found that the chances of getting breast cancers are very high.

The various risk factors for breast cancer are as follows:-

1. Family History of Breast Cancer

If a near relative like a mother or a sister has had breast cancer, then there is a very high chance that the cancer will occur sometime in life. This propensity is observed even if far relatives such as cousins and aunts have had breast cancer, though the chances are lesser as the relatives are more removed. Even if a male relative has had breast cancer or prostate cancer, then there is a chance of getting breast cancer. This clearly indicates that breast cancer runs through family lines through inheritance. Certainly the chances are very high if more than one family member has had breast cancer.

2. Personal History of Breast Cancer

If a woman has had breast cancer in the past, then there is a great chance that the breast cancer may recur. This is true even if the cancer had been removed in its benign stage itself. Sometimes the cancer cells spread into the nearby lymph. This makes a possibility that the cancer will occur in the opposite breast. In fact, women who have had cancer in one breast have 50 to 75% more chances of developing the cancer in the other breast.

3. Diseases of the Breast

Several breast diseases can increase the chances of having breast cancer. Changes in the cells of the breasts can lead to atypical hyperplasia. This condition can cause a three to fourfold increase in the possibility of getting breast cancer in the later years. This risk also exists if the atypical hyperplasia has occurred in other women of the family. Another such condition is the benign breast tumor condition known as fibro adenoma. However, women with fibrocystic breasts generally do not have any added vulnerability to breast cancer. Yet, such conditions could make the breasts lumpy and hide the real tumors (if any) during mammography.

4. Lifestyle

In today’s world, lifestyle is the single largest contributing factor for the proliferation of breast cancer among women. Several elements of the lifestyle have been found to be directly accordant with the prevalence of breast cancer. Smoking and alcoholism in women are among the chief factors. Even diet has been pointed out as an important risk factor. Women who consume a diet with more high-cholesterol fats in them have higher chances of breast cancer. At the same time leading a sedentary lifestyle without indulging much in physical activity are also potentially dangerous.

5. Radiation

It has been found that women who undergo radiation therapies in their chest region at a young age have an increased risk of developing breast cancer in their later lives. Radiation therapy is generally prescribed for women with conditions like Hodgkin’s disease or non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. So women who have undergone such treatments may get breast cancer in their later years.

6. Hormonal Imbalances

There are several factors that can change the hormone balance of the body. Some of them are:-

a) Beginning the menstrual cycle early, i.e. before the age of twelve years,
b) Having the first pregnancy after the age of thirty years,
c) Having no pregnancy at all,
d) Having a late menopause.

All these conditions can increase the level of estrogen in the body. This increases the risk of getting breast cancer to a mild extent. Apart from that women who take regular birth control pills, breast enhancement supplements, antidepressants and antihistamines and hormone modifying supplements stand at a higher risk to get breast cancers.

The above are the major risk factors for breast cancers. But since the study on breast cancers is not yet complete, the above is by no means a complete list. There are several other indications of breast cancers, like breast implant operations; but these have not yet been confirmed. The implants used in the earlier days were made of silicone gels. These were riskier in terms of breast cancer. However, nowadays the silicone gel implants have been replaced by saline implants. This has reduced the risk to a great extent.

It must be also noted that women have much higher chances of getting breast cancer than men. In fact, most people think that breast cancer is a disease that affects only women. This is not true. Men also get breast cancers, but to a much lesser degree than women. Also, age is a very important factor. The chances of getting breast cancer are much higher when the woman has crossed the age of 50 years.

and now for something completely different

admin — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 14:52:03 +0000

this is one of my favorite pictures.

guess what it is.

the waiting game

admin — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 13:01:07 +0000

I am waiting for results from yesterday’s CT scan. My oncologist said that I should call him for results after five days, so I am going to start calling on Friday (it’s only four days post-test but what have I got to lose by calling?).

I did have bloodwork done yesterday and was very relieved to see that all my liver functions are well within the range of normal. I actually startled the nurse who was hooking me up for chemo by giving a little yelp of pleasure.

It is still possible to have tumours on the liver (or nearby) and have normal liver functions. However, abnormally high liver functions can be a sign of a problem.

And I will embrace every indication that all is well.

I have a new post up (I wrote it on Monday) at MyBreastCancerNetwork.Com. It’s about how hard it is to play the waiting game:

“I have no real reason to expect anything but good results this time, yet I can’t escape the feeling that something is wrong. My digestion feels a little off and I can’t decide if the pain in my side is a phantom one.

The truth is, I am scared. I am trying to reassure myself with the fact that I have been feeling pretty good, that I have been biking and running But I was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was feeling the healthiest and most fit that I had in years. And I was diagnosed with liver mets three weeks after I returned to work, at a time when I was feeling strong, energetic and (so I thought) on the road to reclaiming my life from cancer.

I have been fairly racked with anxiety these last few days and yet today I feel calmer. Perhaps I have had the time to come to terms with the fact that I have no choice but to meet whatever challenge lies ahead. Perhaps it has helped to keep myself really busy. Or maybe I am in denial.”

I also wrote in the same post about how I how I cope with the anxiety. I was a little crazy on the week end but there are definitely things that help, when I can remind myself to do them:

“My advice to women awaiting test results or doctor’s appointments remains the same.

Try not to torture yourself with worst case scenarios.

Go out and play (I went to the National Art Gallery with my family yesterday).

Get together with friends (I had a great time at last night’s book club meeting).

Get some exercise (I am going running with my son after school today).

Write it all down (I procrastinated over doing this but I can’t tell you how much it helped.”

Cross-posted to Mothers With Cancer.

nothing new going on here

admin — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 11:52:08 +0000

Just got my CT results from a very up-beat sounding nurse.

No change.

I have not begun to appreciate how relieved I am.

Updated: I have a new post, The Metastatic Cancer Patient’s Guide to the CT Scan in 16 Easy Steps up at MyBreastCancerNetwork.Com.

book is launching

admin — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 08:58:10 +0000

An Ottawa reminder:

And a Toronto update:

Mark your calendars! The Toronto launch of Not Done Yet set for Thursday, June 11 at the Toronto Women’s Book Store. Details coming soon.

inspired

admin — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 07:37:04 +0000

Last week, a comment was left on my blog that really moved me. It linked to BrCa: Blog on Risk, Cancer and Anxiety (it’s an excellent resource if you are interested in learing more about genetic testing and the genes that carry breast cancer).

It seems that the 29 year old woman who writes the blog has been reading mine for a long time. Last week was the first time that she left a comment and it was to tell me about a post she’d written about my blog, called Blogs that inspire me: Not Just About Cancer.

I was so touched by this post. And so pleased to learn that some of my writing has been helpful to others looking for answers.

I write to fill my own needs, of course but it does motivate me to keep going when I learn that I have been striking a chord with others.

Health | Mesothelioma | Cancer

i do run on

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