Life. Is. Good.

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And a Toronto update:

Mark your calendars! The Toronto launch of Not Done Yet set for Thursday, June 11 at the Toronto Women’s Book Store. Details coming soon.

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Why am I embarrassed by this?

I can’t help but think, though, that he would have enjoyed the beaver tail more if had gone skating first.

I hope he was advised to have the Killaloe Sunshine and not the Nutella.

Traffic in my neighbourhood is a mess right now, as I live on the way to the airport. I really pity anyone who had a commercial flight out of the city today.

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I had treatment on Tuesday (Herceptin and vinorelbine). Yesterday, I felt a little green and a little sore but not too bad, really. Today, I am in rough shape.

My body hurts.

I feel really queasy.

My head feels like it’s stuck in a vise.

I am so, so tired (and yes, I am staying in bed).

I have a couple of posts in draft form but I can’t be coherent enough to make them blog-worthy today.

So – know any good jokes?

I’ll be feeling better by Saturday.

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n light of the NBC News piece on the general misery and malaise of the American public, I figured that I’d do my Girl Scout “Good Deed for the Day” and try to cheer up my little corner of the Internet. This cheerleading chant comes to us from Cancer, Baby, who is need of some cheering-up herself after some recent treatment complications. Please stop by her site and leave good thoughts.

Ready? Okay!

You might be good at spreading
Fast and far and wide (clap)
But it’s not you we’re dreading
So you’d better step aside (clap)

Yeah, Cancer, you don’t scare us
You don’t give us pause (clap)
‘Cause the foe that just won’t spare us
Is the cancer rah-rah cause (clap)

They cheer and shout and scream on high
And drown out every voice (clap)
While ill folks live and ill folks die
By drugs and luck, not choice (clap)

They talk of war and they live strong
They tell us, “fix your ‘tude!” (clap)
They think we’ll beat you ‘fore too long
If we just change our mood (clap)

Perhaps without them, Cancer
There would be less to fear (clap)
They think they have the answer
Then kill us with their cheer (clap)

So listen up all mood police
We’re taking back our pride (clap)
We need our dignity and peace
No matter how we die (clap)

Meanwhile we won’t take your shit
Won’t take it on our chins (clap)
If you quit yapping just a bit
We’ll sport some fucking grins (clap)

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It is very difficult to get a good photo of a black dog. However, I discovered that a good camera can really make a difference.

Seriously in need of a grooming.

I was holding a treat in the air. I really love this camera.

She has a really long tongue.

J-Dog was unimpressed.

I spent the last couple of hours trying to come up with a post for NaBloPoMo. I also needed to re-take some photos for the book. Instead, I took photos of my dogs and turned them into a post.

Although, now I just want to photograph everything I own with this camera.

Too bad I have chemo tomorrow. Although maybe I’ll take photos of that, too.

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But I loved this:

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It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

I seem to have lost my blogging mojo. I remember a while back when Average Jane wrote that her blogging had been derailed (my word, not hers) by Twitter and Facebook. I get that now.

Whenever I have a quick observation or a link to share, I can gratify myself instantly with Twitter (I’m lauriek, by the way). And while each tweet does go to Facebook and the sidebar of Not Just About Cancer (on the right – see it there?), it hasn’t done much for my blogging.

I don’t want to give up the blog though, so I’ll try and re-commit to posting regularly (how’s that for hedging my bets?).

On the cancer front, there is a little news. I loved having a break in April. That month also brought another clean CT scan. My oncologist continues to be happy with how things are going (or not going, really).

We talked a bit more with about the weirdness of being in ongoing treatment (with side effects that are cumulative, both physically and emotionally). He talked frankly (one of the things that I love about him) about how, in my case, he really has no idea what to do.

We don’t know what would happen if I were to take a longer break from treatment or stop it altogether.

“You’re a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma,” he said, quoting Churchill.

He said that, theoretically, we could start our own clinical trial, where half the women stop treatment for three months and half continue as I’ve been doing.

“But then what do you say to the women in the first group, if the cancer comes back? ‘Oops?’ ‘Im sorry?’ ” (I’m convinced that the man lies awake at night wondering about these things. His compassion is another thing I love about him).

He has a way of putting things into perspective for me.

I had planned on asking for another break in six months but he surprised me by suggesting I take a break in August (hooray!)

He also said that, some time in the future, he’s not sure exactly when, he’s going to feel ready for me to take a longer break. Meanwhile, I’ll have fewer appointments with him and, unless I’m worried about something, I can call them in (another hooray!).

I am very pleased about all of this but I admit to also feeling a little blue. I’m still dealing with some of the “grey area” fallout. It’s really hard to articulate (and I feel guilty for even complaining. Guilt would be a good subject for a whole other post).

Life is a funny thing. And it’s really hard to plan even five years ahead, because you never know what’s going to happen. I’m trying right now to return my focus to living in the moment, accepting what is and reminding myself to notice the good things.

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