Health | Mesothelioma | Cancer » Few Days

buzzing brain

admin — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 22:28:20 +0000

I had a brain MRI today. I’d never had one before and it’s a pretty weird experience.

I’m not worried about anything in particular. I just thought it would be a good idea, after hearing an oncologist speak at the Conference For Young Women Affected By Breast Cancer that I attended last February.

It wasn’t nearly as bad as I’d feared. It turns out that I am not at all claustrophobic (and I was so relieved that the technician managed to access a vein for the contrast injection on the first try that nothing after that fazed me at all).

But boy, was it loud. And my neck is still stiff from the brace they used to hold my head steady. It’s been hours since I left the hospital and I feel like I am still vibrating. It felt like a jackhammer being used right beside my head. My teeth were chattering from the vibration.

And I am exhausted (although that my be from waking up every forty-five minutes again to make sure that I didn’t oversleep).

I’m not going to worry too much about the results (although I may change my mind about that in the next few days).

My CT results from last week were good (still no tumours in sight).

And besides, there were several women at the young women’s conference who had recently had surgery for brain metastasis. Every month seems to bring more options for the treatment of cancer.

And it’s nice outside.

I am either going to take a nap now or go pick up dog poo in the back yard.

And then I’ll go for a walk.

the waiting game

admin — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 13:01:07 +0000

I am waiting for results from yesterday’s CT scan. My oncologist said that I should call him for results after five days, so I am going to start calling on Friday (it’s only four days post-test but what have I got to lose by calling?).

I did have bloodwork done yesterday and was very relieved to see that all my liver functions are well within the range of normal. I actually startled the nurse who was hooking me up for chemo by giving a little yelp of pleasure.

It is still possible to have tumours on the liver (or nearby) and have normal liver functions. However, abnormally high liver functions can be a sign of a problem.

And I will embrace every indication that all is well.

I have a new post up (I wrote it on Monday) at MyBreastCancerNetwork.Com. It’s about how hard it is to play the waiting game:

“I have no real reason to expect anything but good results this time, yet I can’t escape the feeling that something is wrong. My digestion feels a little off and I can’t decide if the pain in my side is a phantom one.

The truth is, I am scared. I am trying to reassure myself with the fact that I have been feeling pretty good, that I have been biking and running But I was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was feeling the healthiest and most fit that I had in years. And I was diagnosed with liver mets three weeks after I returned to work, at a time when I was feeling strong, energetic and (so I thought) on the road to reclaiming my life from cancer.

I have been fairly racked with anxiety these last few days and yet today I feel calmer. Perhaps I have had the time to come to terms with the fact that I have no choice but to meet whatever challenge lies ahead. Perhaps it has helped to keep myself really busy. Or maybe I am in denial.”

I also wrote in the same post about how I how I cope with the anxiety. I was a little crazy on the week end but there are definitely things that help, when I can remind myself to do them:

“My advice to women awaiting test results or doctor’s appointments remains the same.

Try not to torture yourself with worst case scenarios.

Go out and play (I went to the National Art Gallery with my family yesterday).

Get together with friends (I had a great time at last night’s book club meeting).

Get some exercise (I am going running with my son after school today).

Write it all down (I procrastinated over doing this but I can’t tell you how much it helped.”

Cross-posted to Mothers With Cancer.

all clear

admin — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 07:44:47 +0000

I got my CT results yesterday – via a very casual voice mail message:

“This is A. calling from the Cancer Centre. Your scans were normal. Thank you.”

So there you have it. That’s almost three years clean now.

And now on to making two birthday cakes (D. is 7 today), cleaning the house and doing the myriad things one needs to do before going away for a few days.

I’m not living the life I imagined for myself, but I’ll take it.

questions

admin — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 20:35:59 +0000

Have you ever blogged about the search for a bathing suit?

Are charcoal barbecues worse for our health and the environment than gas barbecues?

How do you organize your time and set priorities so that the most important things get done?

Did you watch Glee last night? Did you think that it wasn’t as good as you remember?

How much do you need to spend on a bicycle if you plan to use it to boot around town, a few days a week from spring to late fall and you want it to last a really long time?

How do you take care of coloured hair when you swim regularly?

Also, I dreamed that my cat came back from the dead. Do you remember your dreams? What do you think this one meant?

some days are blue, some days are indulgent

admin — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 14:00:07 +0000

I have been feeling kind of blue these last few days.

I’m always relieved after I get good scan results but a feeling of let-down seems to follow almost every time and I find myself, once again, channelling Peggy Lee and asking “Is that all there is?”

I just finished the latest round of edits on my book (coming out this spring with Women’s Press!) and I have been left wondering, ‘so, what’s next?’

I haven’t looked at the outline for my novel since I submitted it for my writing course on December 31st. The course is over and I am feeling kind of daunted. I’ve been asking myself, “Can I do this?” and “What purpose would it serve?”

This morning, I had an appointment with my wonderful oncologist who confirmed my CT results. He also referred to my “normal” life.

I told him that I have been feeling kind of “ground down” by the emotional wear and tear of treatment, as much as the buildup of toxins.

He gently reminded me that I need to think of myself as having a chronic illness, “like diabetes”, that needs to be managed but that doesn’t stop me from living my life.

I told him that I know how lucky I am and that I am very grateful not to be dead (at which point he rolled his eyes) and that I’ve been doing other things to keep my life full and interesting (like writing) but that I miss the more fast-paced, structured work environment.

My oncologist was sympathetic but said that we are working at keeping treatment “as innocuous as possible.” I only go for treatment every four weeks and I phone in for every other appointment with him. And he’s right.

The truth is that I couldn’t go back to the kind of long hours that I worked before cancer. Even if I could miss three or four days on treatment weeks, my body couldn’t tolerate the stress or long hours. And I am not sure that I really want that back or if I am just missing the sense of identity that I got from my job.

My oncologist suggested that I skip a cycle over the summer and I’ll do that. I’ll also keep working at doing the things that make me happy.

I have the chance to work at making art (and writing is art). I have to embrace this rare privilege, not feel guilty about it or self-censuring and just see what happens.

Some days are easier than others.

I asked my oncologist whether there were any restrictions on my activities. He said, “No.” He added that there were also “No restrictions on lifestyle” – this is the same oncologist who suggested that dope would help me to cope with the side effects of chemo (it did!) and who routinely suggests I go out for a drink to celebrate any kind of news (wine for good news, scotch for bad) – “The liver is healthy. So you can party.”

To which my spouse replied, “As if she needs any encouragement.”

However, given the fact that I have gained 30 pounds since I was first diagnosed (10 of those in the last two months), I think I’ll be living a more ascetic existence for a while.

Cross-posted to Mothers With Cancer.

Asbestos scare at sheltered home

admin — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 05:25:46 +0000

An asbestos alert at sheltered homes in Lowestoft has left elderly and disabled tenants without toilet facilities in their flats for two days.

Environmental health officers halted refurbishment work on the toilets at Hildesley Court on Stradbroke Road when an anonymous tip-off alerted them to the presence of asbestos insulating boards in pipe ducting.

They said contractors working on behalf of building managers Housing 21 had disturbed the dangerous substance, creating airborne fibres which can cause cancer and lung diseases if inhaled.

The bathrooms of 18 flats were immediately sealed, leaving pensioners to face a difficult journey to the toilets at the far end of the ground floor – some even resorting to using buckets in their rooms.

Last night, Housing 21 bosses apologised to tenants and said a specialist asbestos cleaning firm was working to contain the problem and they expected the toilets to reopen today.

Hildesley Court resident Alec Cooper, 92, said he was concerned about the hazardous dust, but more affected by the difficulty of not having a toilet in his first-floor flat.

“I am crippled and I have to go four or five times a night. There are toilets downstairs but I use a bucket during the night.

“It doesn’t upset me – I have been in the army so I’ve roughed it before, but it is the women I worry about.

“The manager and his wife offered to help empty it but I have a walker and if you can’t do that for yourself then you might as well stay in bed, and I’m not going to do that.”

An 80-year-old woman, who did not wish to be named, said: “I am very annoyed we have to go all the way to the end of the building. It is very inconvenient.”

A Housing 21 spokesman said a short-term solution to seal any exposed asbestos would be completed today and longer-term work to remove the material would begin “in the next few days”.

“No residents are at risk, but have been offered alternative accommodation either with relatives or in local hotels,” he said.

“Most residents have chosen to stay on the court, but our apologies go to all of them for the disruption and inconvenience caused. We will obviously resolve this problem just as soon as we can, and hope that everybody will be back in their homes by Thursday afternoon.”

Britain banned the import and use of most asbestos products in 1999 because airborne fibres, released if the material is disturbed, can cause mesothelioma – a type of cancer – and other lung diseases.

A Waveney District Council spokesman said: “A prohibition notice was issued because, in the opinion of the environ-mental health officer, the refurbishment work was disturbing asbestos and would present an imminent risk to health.”

SOURCE

Health | Mesothelioma | Cancer » Few Days

buzzing brain

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